Tuesday, August 18, 2015
hard words, life, death, birthdays and blessings
in the flesh
i am one year older
and yet unconvinced i should be here at all.
i am not suicidal, that isn't even the point.
i will never kill myself.
i don't want to die in that sense,
despite wondering occasionally how it might be nice to.
we all are given a chance to fulfill a purpose
and maybe we do so anyway
in even the ugliest pathetic kinds of ways,
like a dud firework first lit for it's potential.
somehow more than nothing we may wonder.
but i think about what solomon said
about the unborn
and how they might be the most blessed,
blessed more than the existing souls,
blessed more than the dead.
but people twist words,
and i may be twisting his.
through misunderstanding limited by language,
translations, wrong interpretations.