gray areas

nothing is totally black and white
look closer at zebra
she'll sing the same song
in the color of her
you'll be seeing

things, people, reality
all are complex
breathing spirit
morphing at will

unaware so often
of their freedom
their Gift
the ultimate offering from
A LORD unto a lamb.

this thing is living
LIFE
it's a ride and we're on it
with way more control than
they'd like us to know

we can change the channel
we can change the world
we don't have to buy their bullshit
anymore

don't and do's

dizzy only seems today

like shes lost her dollar at the dollar store

because she exists in another place

in a different Way

this physical existence

originally designed for pleasure

before corruption entered in

with an adversary, a serpent and sin

satan’s leading of the veering began

confusion, babylon

we’re here now

but the carnal plane is decaying rapidly

as we die we go forward

where we can’t see

some hanging on to hopelessness, arrogance, or worse;

but some go forth on promises,

an urgency

that just makes sense

what are we doing with our time

are we wasting it on the flesh?

carnal, cancers, winter is coming

and fear’s constant plea

please Yah help us do this right

help us unite

head, body, limb, hand

before we’re out of time

You’re plan

it is done

Halleluyah!

You give us peace

in the midst of even this

shalom.

mental constipation

photo credit: Daniella Koontz

Babies cry usually because they have some sort of need to express but cannot communicate it. i've thought a lot recently about how i feel like that baby unable to speak of what is going on inside.. only i think it's more frustrating now because i have a language, i have a vocabulary, i actually know how to talk; so why is it so hard to get the thoughts and ideas in my head out my mouth?? Language fails me, my vocabulary falls short; communication is HARD. Sometimes talking to someone who speaks the same language feels like we may as well be from different planets, sure we can understand the words being said, but there is still no communication happening! i'll encounter something that in my spirit i know is wrong but i can't for the life of me explain why. i talk to Yah and end up in tears, having so much in my heart that desires to get out but lacking the ability to put it into words. i ask Him, i admit i've even screamed it, WHY CAN'T i COMMUNICATE? It's like having mental constipation where that which is in is stuck though it wants, it yearns, it needs to get out. Help Yah, O please help me.

how does a sheep work among wolves?

*note* This old post is in the process of being updated, to make clearer that which could be easily misunderstood..


Yahushua says He sends us out as sheep among wolves. 

Is He telling us to get the wolves attention?  Is He asking the sheep to "wake" the wolves up?  To try to stop them?  Change them?  

"Let them alone.  They are blind leaders of the  blind..." [ref mat 15:14]

Or is He trying to draw attention to the fact that we are among enemies?   After some consideration, it seems possible that because we are surrounded by wolves, jumping up and down shouting "ima sheep!  ima sheep!"  may not be the best strategy.    This is a war.   Earth is a battlefield.   Our weapons se not carnal.  see, until HE comes back, the wolves don't care about the sheep's Shepherd, the wolves just eat sheep.   By saying this i in no way suggest you hide your faith, or make secret your walk with and allegiance to the Messiah.. i simply referring to hope we can be most useful in His army.  Though we do in a certain sense tread the narrow way alone, we are notcalled to be lone rangers.  The Master set the precedence by sending at least two together on missions.

call it being in the right place at the right time if you want to, it works for me and seems to happen with increasing frequency.  i think its JAHs job to lead us to other sheep.   we seem to know each other when we meet.   i don't think we're supposed to follow each other, though some work together, for blessing we'll sometimes help each other along the Way.   the world does everything ass-backwards, and its easy to complain, "why doesn't anyone question the stupidity?!"   well, they believe lies..  why that is the conundrum of sin.  
i've found freedom is not perceived in despair but in love.
the fight is in the mind first.  we must choose the kingdom first.  choices are seen in actions but they are made in the mind first. 

the more time goes on i find YAHs timing is perfect. 

i also find myself with chronic martha syndrome in the past few weeks.  right now it seems easier to stay busy than face ... what i wonder?  i don't even know.   i'm an addict in recovery, but i'm rather addicted to work.  work is usually good, like breathing we are designed to do it, but like anything, it can be abused.  i am very capable of charging through the day from task to project to chore into the night until tiredly mumbling thankyou and goodnight on my knees for maybe a few seconds before laying the rest of the way down to slumber.  only to jump up and straight into more chores in the morning.. i definitely feel like i can think better when i'm working.  its one of the keys to a peaceful mind i've found:  keep hands busy!    but there is a feeling of wrestling, i'm wrestling away from, and of asking why do i resist what i want to know so well?   taking time to do the dishes, and household chores is all good, but if not even 10 minutes can be found to sit at HIS feet and read (eat) HIS words, to get some spiritual food.. then whats even the point of doing the rest?  Salvation isn't by works, and from works we all sometimes do need a rest, mostly because works can fool us.. give us something to look at and think, "aha! see this?"..  see what?  see HIM?  its HIS!

oreganization is important.  domination is evil.  JAH is organized. i trust HIM to organize us.  in the mean time i'm hungry.

i've heard the systemites are a bunch of educated idiots.  you don't want to stand out in babylon.  once you get their attention, they will either want to use you or kill you.  i hope you'll forgive any "errors" as this is a new trail.

where is the line between testimony and tooting your own horn?  answer pending.

until next time, i'll be (patiently) waiting for YAH to get us all on the same page.  by continuing to listen more and speak less.   and learning to stay in time.  present.  here. now. today. exiting babylon.

PRAISE YAH!  loving life finally!  can't hardly wait for the reunion in the sky.  o time go by.

peace and love in HIS service

recent tidbits

::i am trying to learn how to forsake or lose expectations and assumptions. the purpose is to develop a more ready attitude for the unspecific, rather than the specific.   i learned that things like frustration, annoyance, disappointment and similar feelings are actually self-generated and self-fueled, and thereby totally avoidable with nothing different but a mind-set.  our minds are very powerful i'm also discovering, and often looking at something the right way unlocks it::  


::i saw this book called  "tao of pooh" and i didn't read it, but the back cover had pictures of winnie the pooh characters and statements like, "while piglet frets, and owl calculates, and eeyore plans,, etc, ... pooh just is"  .  anyway something about it seemed important, and learning to just be in the moment, present in the moment, not off in the past or vain imaginings of the future, but here awake in the now.::

::praise YAH, i've had a breakthrough and finally understand what it means to repent.  i'd always hear it, and think do i feel bad enough about that or this sin, is that what it means? and now i find it simply means to change!  to stop unrighteous behaviors/attitudes and do things differently than before.  now i think duh, but hey.. halleluyah, understanding this was so helpful.::